Being a lame in school and a social misfit in church was hard on my upbringing. By the time I hit sixteen the world as I knew it was constantly turning in all directions. This was happening by the minute with no sign of stopping. Living under the apostolic clutches I miraculously discovered the value of the teachings of Islam. Before I even go any further I did not decide to take interest in Islam because of civil rights leader Malcolm X or The Nation of Islam, but solely from my own research and understanding.
Looking back I can honestly tell you that I was a straight lone wolf at sixteen. Mentally I was ahead when it went to observing my surroundings compared to most of my peers. I never chased chicks, I often mourned for them to chase me (although it never happened). Never was a slave to material possessions or name brands (thanks to the values displayed in my household). The same as any other teenager I may have not been perfect (in any shape or form) but I had a clear understanding of enjoying the fruits of your labor.
Every Sunday I would sit in the sanctuary of a Apostolic Pentecostal church not being able to relate to anything the preacher was saying. Once leaving every service and entering the streets I often felt that nothing had changed. In other words the apostolic's were so busy looking and waiting for the messiah to make a comeback to the point that they did the same old fashion routine of worship. Emerging in consciousness and becoming "WOKE" my appetite for "Godly scripture" was very low. When thinking about this whole scenario a popular quote that goes something like "If a man believes in anything, he will fall for anything" comes to mind.
I had a horn and I loved to toot it when I saw fit. Going to the library became my daily ritual. The ritual got so out of hand that I would forget to pick up my sister from pre-school. Sucking up and absorbing the benefits of the Five Pillars and the Hadith gave me a since of purpose.
Response's to any offerings of swine was simply a no thanks. My mother being the devoted saint she was noticed this and eventually my craving, long awaited pilgrimage to the "true" Holy Land was cut short. The claims of disapproval were very one sided as usual. Being able to pray in any order you want under Jesus The Christ supported the western way of life. Out of the blue all of my kofi's disappeared without an explanation.
Desperation to dig out of the rabbit hole became more of a drastic need than just a figure of speech. Going to church without a Bible or staying seated when the choir sung would come to benefit me in the long run. Yelling the phrases "praise him" and "Glory be to God" with a cheesy smile would be a covert cover up. At this point I knew that I crossed a social stepping stone. It was here that I lost my religion.
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